God or No God?

Looking at life objectively, I arrive at an interesting conclusion: God might not exist. Something exists which I am a part of and which is in constant change, but whether that something can be called God, who knows? I'm certainly not qualified to say its God because I don't know what God is.

Looking back at all of my spiritual experiences, there was never any trace of God - just an awareness and an existence. I can't say anything else about it. It was nothing. It was something. Even when I did get a chance to talk to "God", it was just my own voice speaking to me of its own accord. All my experiences of what could be considered as miracles or beyond the ordinary realm of experience were simply just me following my own inner voice. There was never any trace of a God.

God seems to be the final concept in life that people hold on to for guidance and faith, but once removed as a object which one is attached to or confides in, brings a human being back to their own weaknesses, their own emptiness and their own aloneness. Whether we wish to admit it or not, we are ultimately alone. Alone we're born and alone we die. To be human is to realise and accept this aloneness, not to avoid it or to put it into something else, like a concept of God.

We must accept that we are alone. It's not a sad thing, but rather a seat of power. There is something else which cannot be explained, but what is that something else? Who knows? Who can ever know? Philosophy cannot give an answer. Science cannot give an answer. Scriptures cannot give an answer. Language is too limited. Existence is too vast.

So yesterday, 24th of November 2010, marks the day when I officially give up my concept of a God. Now I'm neither for nor against God - simply I do not know whether God exists. It doesn't concern me. It's not a pursuit for me. It's not a question for me. All I can truly know what exists is me, and something else which I appear to be a part of, which is in constant change.

"When the Lord casts His Glance of Grace, then I see Him with my own eyes; He is indescribable, and cannot be described. With my ears, I continually listen to the Word of the Shabad, and I praise Him; His Ambrosial Name abides within my heart. He is Fearless, Formless and absolutely without vengeance; I am absorbed in His Perfect Light. O Nanak, without the Guru, doubt is not dispelled; through the True Name, glorious greatness is obtained. || 4 || 3 ||"